"MY" rules for brides

After 13 years working as a "party manager" for Sascha's (the best caterer in Baltimore) and doing tons of weddings I've seen a lot of good and bad brides. Here are "MY" rules:

1. IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU!

Contrary to what you believe and the consultants on "Say Yes To The Dress" say you are not "Queen For A Day". Your reception is a party for the friends and family who have come to wish you well and celebrate with you. I once had a bride who insisted on being served lobster while all her guests went to the buffet. If you want lobster or anything else "special" , have it on your honeymoon.

2.DON"T HAVE A LONG RECEPTION

I know you want this day to last forever but your guests don't (trust me on this) . It is proper for guests to wait for the cake to be cut before they leave. Don't drag it out.

3. THROW YOUR "REAL" BOUQUET

A lot of florists will provide "throw" bouquets. What the hell do you want to save your bouquet for? (please don't dry it and hang it on your wall YUK!)

4.NO CASH BARS

If you are even thinking about this you are a "BAD BRIDE" Same goes for tip jars on the bar.(one of my pet peeves as a party manager) Don't allow your caterer to do this. These are your guests they shouldn't have to pay for anything. (would you expect them to tip you for making them a drink at your home or pay for it for that matter?)

5.UNLESS YOU HAVE MICHELLE OBAMA ARMS DON'T GO STRAPLESS

Someone needs to say it.The wedding dress consultants won't.

6.IF YOU ARE PREGNANT DON'T WAIT TILL AFTER THE BABY IS BORN TO GET

MARRIED

Pregnant brides are beautiful. Give your child the "best" start. If you want to look slim in your dress you should have used birth control.

7.DON'T SPEND MORE THAN YOU OR YOUR PARENTS CAN AFFORD

The scale of your wedding should be in proportion to your means. Anything else is in bad taste.

Beautiful weddings can be done on a budget. Please don't make your parents get a second mortgage on their house. Save that for your children's education.

8.SPEND YOUR MONEY ON WHAT'S REALLY IMPORTANT

Food, Music, Liquor Which leads me to:

9. SPENDING MORE THAN A THOUSAND DOLLARS ON A DRESS IS OBSCENE !!

Unless your father is a CEO or your a movie star there are plenty of beautiful dresses to be had at decent prices. Try the internet (you can get a dress just like Audrey Hepburn's in "Funny Face for $159.) Don't forget the "markup" on wedding dresses at bridal salons is very high. (I can't wait to blog about the "consultants" on SYTTD)

10.LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER

This is really more "her" day. Yes, even if she's not paying.

11. IT"S ONLY ONE DAY

Just like the pregnant women who are obsessed with their "birthing" experience. This is only one day and

you have your whole life ahead of you.

That's it for now. I have way more to come.